Losing My Father
A L Benavides
My father had a very rough upbringing, he was put to work from very early childhood to support
his mother and his sisters which was extremely abusive and unfair. So very early in his life he found
relief in alcohol and became an alcoholic, and was until the day he died at the age of 88 years old.
Drinking straight Bourbon , Whiskey and Tequila gave him a stomach ulcer that eventually burned
through his stomach’s wall spreading gastric fluids over the rest of his abdominal internal organs. He
was retired living alone in Mexico, my younger brother would visit him once or twice a week and one
day he found our father in the bathroom lying unconscious over a pool of black blood diarrhea, my
brother had no idea how long our dad had been there in that condition. So he called an ambulance
and our dad was rushed to a hospital.
The prognosis was very bad, when I arrived I asked his doctor what were the chances of our dad
surviving surgery, the doctor answered 10%, and I followed asking what were the chances of him
healing without any surgery, and the doctor answered 10%. Besides, surgery recovery would be
extremely long, complicated and painful.
My dad was a widower before he met my mom, he had a son and a daughter from his first marriage
that were raised by their grandmother with my father’s financial support. When I entered to my
father’s hospital room all us his children were there his daughter crying very dramatically. My dad
was semi unconscious and when he saw my face leaning over his with my hand on his forehead he
reached out pulled my hand to his lips and kissed my palm. Tears rolled over my cheeks and I asked
him to please not do that.
My dad had been an extremely responsible father living alone and working for 30 years in the US
while us all his family were living in Mexico until he retired and finally joined us.
I realized he was in extreme pain dying but very likely still worried about our faith if he was to die.
So I leaned over him and whispered to his ear telling him not to worry, that if he wanted to leave to
do it without any remorse, that we would all be fine.
Then I asked my brothers and sister if we could take a break outside our dad’s room and also give our
dad a break for a few minutes.
Just a couple of minutes after we left the room, my dad died.
We needed to let him go.
Although tears rolled over my face I was also feeling joy thinking that my dad had left in peace.
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Death Videos and Audio Links
John Arthur Ligda
Sam Harris' ideas on death have opened my eyes and mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZuvZAEIw3I&t=70s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0tv52xDD5g
https://kurator.forteller.net/2017/03/12/sam-harris-death-and-the-present-moment/
